Thursday, December 07, 2006
goodbye
(2:31 PM)
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
GAHHH this world is unfair. Yeah whatever I feel like a bitch for thinking about these things but you know what, it sucks when the things you do go unappreciated. Yes yes you do things not expecting anything in return but but but human nature just doesn't work that way. And to make things horribly worse, today just killed my mood. I was supposed to do something for someone but I was too darn lazy and slow. Was planning to drop by Claudia's but then it freaking rained. Damn heavily at that. And left me stranded at Taka. ))): And because of this stupid rain I dropped my phone and now its spoilt. SHIT REALLY DOES HAPPEN. I feel like a bitch for being troubled by these things when other people have bigger problems to worry about. This post is random.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARMAINE! (0412)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAUDIA! (0512)
Grace :
Hey there Chan #3, cheer up dear one! Everything will be fine okay? I love you <333
(7:54 PM)
Friday, November 24, 2006
I wonder where I fucked up. I don't know what went wrong. Why's my life crumbling to pieces again? God fuck it, I'm not going because I ... I just thought you and him would be happier together. Give me time to cry it all out at home. To think over what the fuck went wrong in my life. You think you're the only one who's tried?? Fuck, I've tried my best too okay! I'm stressed god damn it. I can't be happy 24/7. I can't talk to you 24/7. And I don't know, my friends make me happy alright! And you hate them! Don't you know thats one of the reasons I'm so resentful all the time. I've done my best to ignore that and I've tried talking more smiling more but no you don't particularly give a fuck. I try my fucking hardest for my results. And its all to bloody make you happy don't you get it! Do you think I'm not fucking affected by all this? Sure I might put up some shit I AM INDEPENDENT front but no damn it, I want my family back. Honest to god I do. I'll do anything you want alright. Why don't you just talk to me, like NO YOU CAN'T GO OUT or NO SHE CAN'T STAYOVER or YES YOU BETTER GET YOUR FUCKING ASS TO KL. Instead of getting all cold and shit on me. 99% of the time I don't even know why you're angry at me. And I'm scared to talk when you're cold. Its insanely scary because I'm afraid of what will come out of your mouth. Whether its, you're so fucked up, or don't call me your mother anymore, or some fucked up shit that makes me cry. Perhaps I should be immune to it by now. You said my brains were fucked up when I was 9 I think. But no I suppose it hurts more now, but you never knew. Screw all that. Whatever happened to my family? ):
I really hope you read this because I'm damn sorry and its not some shit to gain sympathy from you because I want something. I don't want anything. I mean it.
And please god, keep me alive, these thoughts are killing me, they're scaring me because I really don't know what I'd do.
(8:04 AM)
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
and slowly you kill me, with words that cut like knives
Holidaying in australia was nothing short of awesome, brilliant weather, lovely beach and fabulous company, what more can I ask for? :D It sucks to be back home. Loneliness sets in again. ): Oh well. Thanks Anabel Charmaine Charmaine & Brian Claudia Olivia Tricia!! You guys were fantastic :D So anyway summarised:
- Unparalleled fun on roller coasters, rides and whatnots at Dreamworld & Movieworld accompanied with tons of screams laughter and ribbing :D
- Shopping at Pacific Fair & Habour Town (pouches!!)
- Digging, building, emo-ing, swimming at the lovely beach
- Nights spent walking to Cold Rock for ice-cream, playing monopoly & cards
- Jet boat ride that got us soaked
- Wet and Wild with the awesome tornado ride & wave pool (:
- Finally, the best sunrise ever :D
(7:33 PM)
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Hello Everybody :)
After 9 years of knowing Charmaine Chew, I really think she's an awesome friend to have, furthermore, she's more than just nice :D Ok byebye!
(8:24 PM)
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Hello I decided to post again! :D School has been stupid so far, I mean 99% of the time I'm stoning, dreaming, talking, or doing tuition homework. What's the point of going man. Okay well the people around me make for great company and entertainment! (: I didn't know babies could be so entertaining HAHAHAHA. CHARMIES AND HAMMIE AND TAMMIE! Hahahaha okay tammie is not good company. Anyway anyway, went to watch STEP UPPPP with CHARMIE CHARMIE HAMMIE AND CAT. It was OOH LA LA HOTTTT. And those babies are so funny. HAHHA. Meritus Mandarin toilet mirrors are cool shit. Okay whatever.
I can't wait for monday when I kiss this shit school goodbye. OOH WEE.
(9:12 PM)
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Anger's a fascinating thing to watch. It usurps control of your bodily senses, and sometimes it makes you exert insane amounts of strength. Maybe by slamming things it gives you a certain control, makes you feel better venting your anger on inanimate things, after all, anger is when you lose control over matters, whether its yourself or other people. So you don't suppress it all inside, you don't feel like you're losing control over everything, but in actual fact everything's slipping away from you. It's all about control I think, as I idled the past two endless hours mulling over this. Anger makes me lose control over the words that slip out and facial contortions I suppose. Mostly its suppressed, so you feel like some pressure cooker, with all the unpleasantries all compressed inside you, and not able to let it out, probably for fear of consequences. So, I don't really know, maybe anger's a loss of control, and I think also an effort to keep it. Like an irony.
Okay whatever i don't know what I'm rambling about.
I guess my point is, I suppress my anger, so I think I have more self control than you think.
You probably don't get it.
OKAY, fine I'm sorry.
(8:04 PM)
